Twitchy, The Adventures of. Episode 2

Twitchy put his multitudes of funds in the ample pockets of his new coat.  He would use the word “cash”, but he found the said vernacular extremely vulgar.

Twitchy was “old school”.

Excellent! He thought now he could continue on his way.

Twitchy was very pleased and he couldn’t help but smile

(Twitchy doesn’t change his expression)

Twitchy decided he would take the scenic route.  So he promptly went to the bus station and purchased a ticket to – well – wherever!

Twitchy liked the view from the big bus windows.  Of course, he thought they could do with a bit of polishing, but he was enjoying the view of the cityscape nonetheless.

Approximately ten minutes and forty-nine seconds into his journey…

Twitchy has a precise relationship with time.

A youngish Tall and his two smalls got off of the bus, leaving behind some sort of animal. Twitchy had seen something like this before.  He believed the “Talls” called it a stuffed animal.  In this case, a Bear.

He tried to alert them to this unfortunate mistake, but they didn’t hear him.

Being a rabbit of few words he used mind-talking like most intelligent creatures forgetting that this is something that many Talls have forgotten how to do.

Well, no matter he thought, he will speak to this poor forgotten creature and help him get back to his Tall family he decided.

Hello, what manner of being are you? He mind-talked.

No response.

Surely all beings can mind-talk he thought.  And being a rabbit of few words he was of course the best at it.  So he tried again.

No response.

How rude.  He then remembered he once saw a programme on the stuffing of animals – like bears.  How barbaric, painful and awkward all at the same time he thought this must be.  But at least they wouldn’t have to worry about the mendacities of obtaining substance on a continually daily basis.  Which he had to admit seemed quite useful and reasonable.

Well, he couldn’t do anything about the matter now.  The Tall and two smalls were quite gone.  But he thought, he should do something for this forgotten creature no matter rude he was.  He was also completely stark naked.  How undignified Twitchy thought.  The least he could do he felt was to give the poor thing some clothing to wear before he went on his way.

Twitchy took off his hat and set it on the seat next to the bear, and searched within and found just the article of clothing… a pastel blue, button-down Oxford shirt with pearlescent buttons.

Marvelous he thought.  And he gave it to the bear to put on.

But indeed, the bear must have been in shock as he didn’t move. So Twitchy had to choice but to put it on the bear himself.  And he did so with some difficulty as the creature was not very bendy.

After some minutes, the bear was wearing his smart new shirt.  And Twitchy could not help but sit back and admire his work.

(Twitchy doesn’t change his expression)

Twitchy looked out the window and saw that this was as good a place as any to get off and explore.  Besides, he thought he spied a fish and chips shop where he could get a nice piece of steak and kidney pie.

Twitchy loved a good steak and kidney pie. 

 He bid the bear farewell.


And went on his way.

But, Twitchy didn’t realize that whatever he pulled out of his hat was endowed with special “qualities”.

No sooner than he had taken his first step off of the bus, did he hear someone yell – “Wait Wait!”, he turned around and saw the bear was most awkwardly running towards him and before he could step out of the way, bear tumbled on top of Twitchy, careening both of them down the bus stairs and in a heap on the curb.

Twitchy was quite cross

(Twitchy doesn’t change his expression)

Twitchy got up and dusted himself off, making sure his exquisite coat with real silver and gold buttons with a monogrammed “T” was not torn or ruined in anyway.  And he took out his lace handkerchief and dusted off his top hat.

The bear immediately began talking in a stream of words that made Twitchy think he preferred it when he didn’t speak.

Thank you, thank you, thank you said bear.  I wanted to say thank you on the bus.  I wanted to thank you for this wonderful shirt.  But I couldn’t speak.  I couldn’t move.  And now after all of these years I can.  I CAN MATE!  Thank you, brother.  Thank you, thank you THANK YOU!

And with that, he gave Twitchy an almost bone-crushing hug.

Twitchy abhorred public displays of affection – especially hugs.

Twitchy was clearly irritated.

(Twitchy doesn’t change his expression)

Not understanding what all the fuss was about.  And yes it was a lovely shirt but really all of this palabra!  Being a rabbit of few words all he could say was.

You are welcome.

And he bid the bear farewell.


Wait, wait, wait! Where are you going brother?

What? Twitchy thought, surely this is none of his business.  But as he felt sorry for the poor chap, he stopped, turned around, and mind-talked to him that he was going to get some sustenance, food.  A steak and kidney pie to be exact, or maybe a lovely lamb kebab.

Twitchy just adored a good lamb kebab.

Food, food, food?  Hey, is that the stuff I see the Talls and the Smalls put in their mouths?  Oh, I’ve always wanted to try some of that.  I’ve never had food!  Can I come with you, Can I can I can I, mate?

Never had food? Twitchy thought. Never?  How is this possible to not ever have had even a morsel of food?  Not even a chip?

But Twitchy did detect that bear was not from these parts.

He remembered he once saw a programme about a large strange animal with a pouch and longish pointy ears and short strange arms that hopped around on legs with these enormous feet similar to Twitchy’s except his feet and gait were more refined  – of course.  And this creature spoke a lot like Bear.  And there were definitely many strange breeds of animals in this place on this programme, which they kept referring to as “down there” which he surmised must explain the food thing.  Hmmm.  Twitchy deduced Bear was Australian.

Twitchy was a big fan of Sherlock Holmes.  He often thought they must be related.  First cousins perhaps.

Well, come along then, Twitchy mind-talked.

Thank you, thank you, thank you brother said Bear.  And off they went to a little café just down the street that Twitchy saw from the bus window that he hoped had steak and kidney pie or at least a decent lamb kebab.

Bear followed him  – wobbling closely behind.

TBC (To Be Continued…)