PUSSY

I have a friend who takes all of these – let’s say “workshops.”  The latest was taught by a woman who is kind of like a Tony Robbins meets a WAAAAAY below average Ruth Westheimer.  She teaches a loose form of womanly arts – but not like Geisha or Miss Manners stuff – OH NO that would be FORBIDDEN – She “teaches” women how to “Reclaim Their …  (“Ahem”)… Pussies.”

Now, THIS is NOT a word I would use.  I HATE that word.  Actually, I even hate CATS!  What’s wrong with Vagina?  Why can’t you say Vagina?  Not Va Jay Jay or Vagine or anything stupid like that – Just plain old Vagina!  I JUST LIKE VAGINA!  (OH WAIT!) But this woman and her disciples require you to use that word.  She even wrote a book with that word in the title, WHICH said friend gifted to me on my Android Kindle App (BTW – can ANYBODY tell me how to delete it from my phone?!)

Besides the fact that i don’t drink the “Kool-Aid” as my friend does (Actually, even when I was little, I HATED Kool-Aid, but I DO like the Kool-Aid man – I like BIG guys – OH YEAH!!)  BUT – I really fail to understand how you reclaim a body part you STILL OWN and is ATTACHED to your body!!

You know, I have often wondered why guys grab their penises.  I often thought that maybe said penises sometimes fall off or shrink or something, so at a certain age – say like 16 or 17 – guys need to constantly check.  But a (“Ahem”)…  Pussy? — REALLY?  – Well, apparently, this is something that my caregivers neglected to tell me when I learned about the Birds and the Bees!

Oh, as for my friend?  Well, she’s involved in another “workshop” which also involves (“Ahem” )…  Pussy.  But this one involves having someone play with your – hmmm … how should I say…  hooded lady.  (Trust me, you probably DON’T want to know – TRUST ME!)