Twitchy, The Adventures of. Episode 5

It was getting dark, and Twitchy decided they needed to find a place to stay for the evening.  After they walked about a quarter of a kilometer they came across this quaint little house off of a side street with a small sign that read: Bed & Breakfast.

Hmmm thought Twitchy, this is just what is required.  It wasn’t the most elegant of places, but surely it would suffice.  Maybe they also serve dinner and quite possibly Steak and Kidney pie might be on the menu as Twitchy just adored a good Steak and Kidney pie!

Twitchy and Bear walk into the establishment.  Twitchy rings the little bell that is at the reception desk.  No one comes.  Hmmm thought Twitchy this is obviously a place not well attended to.  As he surveyed the place, he could see it looked rather run down at best.

“No, no, nobody’s here it looks like Twitchy, what are we gonna do? what are we gonna do! And I’m hungry” said Bear.

How do you know you are hungry? Twitchy mind-talked to Bear quite forcibly

You see, Twitchy could not possibly understand how Bear could even know what hunger was or felt like since the food he consumed earlier this afternoon, which was quite a monstrous amount at that, was the FIRST meal he had ever had!

“Well, well… my eyes are heavy?”  I think that’s a sign, right Twitchy?.

Twitchy realized Bear was not only intellectually deficient, he was also ill-prepared socially, in ALL areas.

That, Twitchy mind-talked to Bear means you are tired and need to rest your eyes and sleep.

And with that, he saw behind the concierge desk, a wall with pegs that had some keys attached to them.

He remembered he once saw a programme about a hotelier who had a very successful hotel in the early 20th century.  And when his guests checked in they would be given keys from a pegboard similar to the one he was looking at now.  In this hotel of course, which was quite grand, the guests would then be escorted to their rooms by what was called a bellboy, who had a very smart little round cap – kind of like an organ grinder hat on a monkey, not very attractive for a grown man Twitchy thought – unlike his own hat which of course was quintessential  –  and this man would take their bags for them.  In the current situation, of course, Twitchy and Bear had no bags, so this was not to be the case and this hotel had seen “better days”… as the “across the ponders” would say.  All of this led Twitchy to deduce that if the peg had a key still on it – the room was vacant.

Twitchy calmly walked behind the front desk, reached up, and took the keys to Room 73.

Come along, Twitchy mind-talked to Bear and as there was no bellboy and to be fair they did not have any bags anyway, so off they went on their own to Room 73.

They put the key in the lock, turn it, and opened the door.

Twitchy visibly gasped.

(Twitchy doesn’t change his expression)

The room…well… the room was, well… rather… horrid! 

It looked as if it hadn’t been done and dusted for several months maybe even years.  In the room were two twin beds with tattered blankets and worn sheets. Two windows, with shades, also tattered and torn, and stapled to what was left of them, to make them longer, were cut in half Chorleywood-made bread bags. The room had the very faint smell of… well, no way else to politely say it… bodily liquid waste, and there were these little creatures scurrying about which Twitchy remembered he once saw a programme about.  This programme both proved and dispelled many myths about the ordinary and the possibly unexplainable, which they always managed to explain either way. And even though it was an American-made programme, it was still surprisingly well done and entertaining.  This programme said these creatures, of which there are several nationalities, German, Asian and American, can survive bombs and nuclear attacks because they can survive radiation and would outlive humans at the end of time.  Well, as far as Twitchy was concerned this made them quite superior indeed, except for himself, of course, so he had no problem letting them go about their business while he retired for the evening.

Twitchy took off his hat and put it on the raggedy 3-legged nightstand next to the bed and laid down.  Bear, being of course Bear, and seeing that he had a bed all to himself, commenced to jumping up and down, as a Small would do, much to Twitchy’s dismay. 

(Twitchy doesn’t change his expression)

Twitchy thought how annoying, as It was time for rest and rejuvenation so Twitchy, being a rabbit of few words simply said his last words for the evening.

Enough!

And closed his eyes.

Bear who of course knew better by now not to disobey Twitchy’s demands, stopped jumping on the bed and curled up in a fetal position and eventually closed his eyes as well and fell asleep.

Meanwhile, as they slept, one of these… creatures, commonly referred to as Cockroaches, nationality American, crawled underneath Twitchy’s hat.

TBC (To Be Continued…)